What people carry
People put things down here anonymously. No names, no profiles, nothing to trace back. What follows is what came up most often, grouped by the thing it was about.
A lot of it is about leaving, and about what happens in the years afterwards, which is the part almost nobody writes down.
He didn't hit me
The abuse that leaves nothing to point at.
If there were no bruises, you may still be describing abuse. Read what other people said about the harm that never showed up on their skin.
Walking on eggshells
Managing someone else's mood as a full time job.
Constantly managing someone else's mood changes how you think and speak. Read what walking on eggshells actually felt like for other people.
The night I left
Not a brave decision. Usually just the end of options.
Leaving is rarely one brave decision. Read what the moment of going actually looked like for people who did it.
Nobody warns you about the system
The paperwork is its own kind of exhaustion.
The admin of leaving is its own exhaustion. Read what people said about family court, benefits assessments and forms that assume a life you no longer have.
Starting over with nothing
A kitchen table, a phone screen, kids asleep upstairs.
Rebuilding a life from a kitchen table and a phone screen. Read what starting again looked like for people who did it with children and no money.
The strong friend
Everyone comes to you. Nobody asks you.
Everyone comes to you. Nobody checks on you. Read what other people said about being the one who is always fine.
Alone, and sometimes lonely
Certain you were right. Still lonely.
You can be certain you did the right thing and still be lonely. Read what people said about missing closeness after leaving.
Healing is not a straight line
It goes backwards, sideways, then nowhere for a bit.
Recovery goes backwards, then sideways, then nowhere for a while. Read what non linear healing actually looked like for other people.
Small wins that are not small
Finishing a hot cup of tea counts.
Finishing a hot cup of tea. Wearing a colour he hated. Read the small wins people used to measure getting better.
Permission to do nothing
Rest is maintenance, not a reward.
Doing nothing feels like something you have to earn. Read what other people said about rest, boundaries and the quiet they stopped apologising for.
Add yours. It stays anonymous, and it does not stay forever.
Drift in